Welcome to al.COMMENTARY, a semi-irregular feature at Reran Tragedy where we will cull the worst of the worst of the real al.com’comments that we can stand to read to show how the company that owns the state’s biggest daily-ish papers shames their remaining workers’ product and the state by allowing immature, racist, and just-plain-wrong examples of humanity to post filth on their site. 

For the unfamiliar, al.com is a website operated by Advance Publications, a media company that owns Alabama’s biggest newspapers. These are storied publications that have been nominated for and even won the Pulitzer Prize, and they have long been the benchmark for quality journalism in the state of Alabama. And Advance also owns The Huntsville Times.

al.com is where Advance publishes its newspapers’ stories online. Because they allow fairly anonymous commenting, they have attracted by far the most rabidly crazy and offensive talkbacks in the state. As such, it’s a daily stain on the image of the state.

It’s a big week at al.com, and not just because, you know, most of the people who work hard to supply it with content have been told they won’t have a job a in three months. The site debuted a new “real time” comment system this week, which admins say will tamp down on the racism and offensiveness of the commenters. It will also allow commenters to share pictures and video and vote for posts they like.

The latter, of course, is a terrible idea, since these guys are not going to stop being racist because Advance tosses out a new comment system and shouts, “Real time!” Facebook comments, guys. Facebook comments.

But hey, there are … opportunities that we might not have had before with these changes — like seeing a heavily al.commenter-voted post calling for a lynching that includes an al.commenter’s favorite lynching photos.

As for today, the again totally real talkbacks teach us why democracy is really not working out for the more patriotic members of the al.commentariat, that white golfers need to be aggressively registered to vote, that you are a filthy turtle rapist, that civil rights luminaries are thugs, and that it is only getting more racist on al.com. Yes, really.

Enjoy.

Though you probably shouldn’t.

I mean, really.

Your impressive racism has prompted me to call you an idiot sooner.

I usually save the racist stuff for the end because 1) I generally like people to not be disgusted so much that they do not read to the end of my posts and 2) I get immense pleasure putting Alabama racists in the back of the bus, so to speak.

The below post from Christy Hall, however, deserves special display. As does one that follows it from the commenter known as cobra.

It came on al.com’s story about President Obama delaying action on young undocumented immigrants. Unfortunate emphasis added:

This is our so called leaders attempt at gaining votes..the man is an idiot!! I live in Hoover Alabama and it is overrun with illegals who have no respect for the United States at all, and cannot even speak a word of English which is unacceptable! I live in an apartment in hoover and it has been absolutely destroyed since all the illegals have been allowed to move in..time for me to leave and don’t leave anything of ANY value unguarded for a second! The wetbacks in Hoover are so nasty. My apartment complex is covered in trash daily that they throw out on the lawn, I am thankful i have dogs so i can actually get to my car safely and yet i consistently see them walking around in the dark doing God only knows what..looking to steal from someone. I urge you if you live in Hoover (AKA little MExico), make sure your car has an alarm and arm it even if you are going to be away from it for a minute..they watch!! And no they are not hard workers!! So now Obama wants to let the kids have a FREE ride!! Why stop there, just let every kid from EVERY country get a FREE ride too…our tax dollars at work!~!!

Now, this may not be an exceptional post to the untrained viewer, but it is really a beautiful piece of work by Ms. Hall to connoisseurs of dumbassed newspaper website commenters. It contains all the tropes. Look at the deep and cliche outrage: It starts with complaints about “so called leaders” pandering for votes and ends with generalized bitching about spending taxes that this poor dear has to pay. Then, it goes into the most generalized whining about Hispanic people ever before crescendoing into outright and slur-ridden racism and blaming other races for problems they might not even have caused, adding a ridiculous and yet still cliche nickname for the place she lives because it has brown people she dislikes in it.

But that’s not why I’m giving it prominent view.

I’m giving it prominent view because Ms. Hall, if this is indeed her, posted this — something that goes above and beyond much of the normal racism among al.commenters — under her real name and with a picture of herself.

No, really. I took a screenshot. It appears to be her first post (or her first post to make it through the admins) at al.com.

For that, Ms. Hall gets the honor of being our first al.COMMENTARY Racist Asshole of the Week, entering her in the running for al.COMMENTARY Racist Asshole of the Year.

She is the exception to the general idea that Facebook comments will help fix the problems on al.com, because she has such a limited sense of propriety and basic decency to use a racial slur in public no matter what cover the means of communication allows her. In the world of B on B Crime, Where’s Al and Jesse, that is something worthy of derisive honor.

Ms. Hall, if that is your real name, thank you for being such a terrible human being, showing it on the internet, and allowing us to visually identify you so that we can stay away from you so that your putrid brand of humanity does not infect our own.

And nice sweatshirt, by the way.

Meanwhile, in other racism I couldn’t wait to share, cobra offers a special view of the civil rights movement in Birmingham on this very lovely piece The Birmingham News did on the brother of the late civil rights activist and newspaper editor Emory O. Jackson campaigning for Jackson to get some sort of official recognition.

Jackson was an Icon but Shuttlesworth was a thug just like his buddy Abraham Woods , Abraham Woods and FredShuttlesworth were the Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson of Birmingham. I think maybe we should take Shuttlesworth name off the airport and put Emory Jacksons name on it.

The Rev. Fred Shuttlesworth. A thug? The guy who had his house bombed by the Klan is the thug?

And not only that, Abraham Woods, the organizer of the freaking March on Washington, one of the most impressive nonviolent demonstrations in American history, is a bloody thug too?

Who the f— are you?! Bull Connor?!

Now, this is unbelievably offensive and speaks to the ongoing fissures among Birminghamians 50 years after key battles in the civil rights movement were waged in the city.

But thanks to the new al.comment system, other racist posts calling civil rights leaders thugs can be accompanied with eye-popping multimedia shitting on the most important moment of progress in American history!

Stuff like this!

MULTIMEDIA!

The new al.comment system.

It’s racism.

In real time!

‘F— you, America! I ain’t no traitor!’

So yes, President Obama let the various sorts of brown people that Alabamians dislike not be lined up immediately for deportation. Shockingly, this wasn’t the most al.commenter-unfriendly story of the week, but it did produce some of its more unfortunately amusing lines of thought by some of the al.commentariat:

That we really should limit Americans’ ability to say and protest how they wish because our democratic republic allows people the al.commenters disagree with existing to do things without official reprisal.

But if you disagree with this sentiment, you are a traitor.

Confused? Observe.

yancyde

Only in the U.S. can an Illegal immigrant openly protest in the streets. Sometimes I think we have way too much freedom.

And then jce in response.

And you, sir, call yourself an American Patriot. The ability to publicly assemble and protest is one of the most important things that make this country unique and worth dying for.

And then yancyde‘s thoughtful rebuttal.

For CITIZENS not ILLEGAL TRESPASSERS, you TRAITOR!

Again: “I HATE BASIC TENETS OF HOW AMERICAN SOCIETY AND GOVERNMENT WORKS, BUT IF YOU WHAT DISAGREE WITH ME YOUR TRAITOR TO AMERCAI!”

Continuing with the amazingly well-punctuated and just plain mean catoyounger.

Uh, no. Everyone gets a vote. Agitating and street intimidation is just thuggery. It is the antithesis of orderly representative government and the legacy of mob rule. But then, we are talking about Democrats. Just go ahead and admit you hate your own country like most Democrats do and you are doing all you can to tear it down so it won’t be so great. After all, being great is not equal and is an affront to all the non-great countries. We must be brought low to pander to their sensibilities.

“WHEN YOU SAY THINGS ARE WRONG WITH THE COUNTRY YOU ARE REALLY OUT TO DESTROY US BECAUSE YOU WANT TO DO GAY THINGS WITH EUROPE’S PORTUGAL MEMBER! WE SHOULDN’T ALLOW YOU PEOPLE TO VOTE OR DEMONSTRATE DESPITE THAT BEING SOMETHING THAT AMERICA’S BUILT ON!”

And then later.

Let me put this bluntly: If you are for unlimited immigration from failed third world countries you are basically a traitor, whether you fit the textbook definition or not. You are pushing for your own country to be overrun, its culture destroyed, its government corrupted and its language changed – all the things a foreign enemy does and why most countries have armies for self-defense. Pathetic.

“YOU ARE A PATHETIC TRAITOR FOR DISAGREEING WITH ME AND I ALSO SAY YOU SHOULDN’T BE ALLOWED TO PROTEST LIKE THE FIRST AMENDMENT SAYS YOU CAN!”

No irony. No irony whatsoever.

And now, some generalized nonsensical ranting that makes it that much harder to take really far-right Southern conservatives seriously, in the direction of Aturner339, who I understand recently had a login stolen…

footbrawl

Turner, you must be a socialist that has real love for Osama Obama. If he wins I hope Alabama and other states seceed.

Most depressing about that comment? He was not the only person I saw spell “secede” that way — and far from the only I saw who thought that a second civil war was a good idea because someone they disagree with has been put in elected office.

You won’t believe it, but this is a guy named REBEL YELL defending illegal immigrants.

The illegals are paying [taxes] to, don’t fool yourselves! They get ID #, it’s not a social but they pay in!! The illegals are not hurting this country, but rather all the ENTITLEMENT folks that are sucking the life out of all of us. Least illegals work!

“BECAUSE I THINK THOSE ARE BLACK PEOPLE, YOU SEE.”

DonaldDunlap is up next. By the way, there had been no mention of race before he made this comment, among other things he says that have no basis whatsoever in reality.

As always, when liberals are losing the arguments, they play their favorite hole card, the race card.
Aturner39…..get off the race issue, race has nothing to do with the situation except in your own little mind. B. Obama will do anything to get relected including violating American laws. He through exectuive order has told congress to kiss his A…., he will do what he wants. Remember he said he would fundamentally change America. He is hell bent on turning America into a socialist nation with him is the leader for life. Yeah, if he gets relected, he will do this within 2 years. He today is giving amnesty to young illegals and will no longer throw them out of the country, even when they are caught by border agents. He and Eric Holder are preventing states enforce what he refuses to enforce. To all those that go along with this treason, if he succeeds, you will see in America what is happening in Greece and other European nations. Then who will you blame ? Oh, I expect to see him make a part of this treasonist action the ability of these illegals to vote in November. To those blindly following this man, you are committing suicide and dooming the future of your children.

“BROWN PEOPLE CAUSE SOVERGEIN DEBT!”

Just in case you get to the end and think it: Yes, the rest of this section of the post is just one progressively sillier conspiracy theory after another. Do enjoy.

This post from chapelhills50 came from another story on political leaders’ reaction to Obama’s decision, but I include it here because, well…

I can’t believe that all you folks didn’t see this in the beginning.. This man does not give a rip about the US other than to distroy it.. But you still have these folks with blind eyes that think he is the best thing since gold.. WAKE UP!!!!!!!!

I don’t think anyone would have a issue with immigration issue if they were all LEGAL and PAYING TAXES like me.. But you let them stay here Illegally and we pay for everything… And the kicker is you made it a law that our kids had to learn Spanish… Last time I look this is AMERICA we don’t have to learn their language their learn ours this is our Country!!

“AND THEN YOU MADE IT TO WHERE THIS IMAGINARY ASSED LAW DIDT’N WHAT EXIST AND NOW YALL ACT LIKE YALL KNOW SOMETHIN BUT THIS AMERICA AND YOU SPEAK MY CRAZY ASSED LANGUAGE YOU SONS A BITCH.”

Back to the main story: Kislath thinks the Klan’s problem was all in the execution.

Those Klan idiots would have been MUCH more effective if they didn’t use those silly robes & hoods and instead operated more stealthily. These insurgents want to invade us, and our fearless leaders are welcoming it as long as their kin vote for them? Time for some counter-insurgency, this time without the costumes. Those who hire illegals are much easier to lean on when they don’t know who is doing the leaning. If we don’t fight back, we’ll be conquered without the enemy ever firing a shot. It’s time to step up our game. NO VIOLENCE!!! None. Don’t give anyone anything to use against us. Just make it crystal clear to those who hire illegals that we won’t stand for it anymore, we won’t buy their products & services, and we’ll go to great lengths to ensure that everyone knows who they are and likewise helps to put them out of business. SO FAR, Obama hasn’t perverted the Commerce Clause to force us to buy from illegal-hiring companies, so let’s make that our primary method until he does.

Finally, I suppose we could always just secede. It’ll probably have to come down to that anyway for any number of reasons, so why not avoid the rush?

To follow up inappropriately, here is this later comment from onmylastleg.

IF THE GOVERNMENT WON’T PROTECT YOU FROM THE ILLEGAL INVADERS , YOU WILL HAVE TO PROTECT YOUR SELF!

To cap this section off, we have Nationalchampsagain, who opens up with a comment about a law that, as you will read below, was a particular sore point for al.commenters this week. But the breadth and scope of this crazed rant is just so that I’m willing to crown him the inaugural al.COMMENTARY Crazed Conspiracy-Spewing Ranter of the Week.

This person truly is a champion, and that’s before you get to his second crazy post, which I have also reproduced below.

Emphasis added.

The “Motor Voter” law, now named the “National Voter Registration Act” has allowed so many NON US Citizens to Be Registered to vote it is totally crazy. THis is where many many many of Obama’s votes came from and I believe the only reason he got elected. It was all a long term plan started by the “Demon” crates, years ago. They got a president elected that said “THE BIBLE WON’T SHOW ME HOW TO RUN THIS COUNTRY” , AND also one that won’t SALUTE OUR NATIONAL FLAG.

REAL AMERICANS did not vote for Obama and won’t again. We TRUE AMERICANS NEED TO GET OUT AND VOTE THIS TIME FOR A US CITIZEN THAT IS NOT TRYING TO RUIN THIS COUNTRY.

AGAIN Obama IS TRYING TO BRIDE VOTES, NOT ONLY FOR HIMSELF FOR THIS YEAR BUT FOR OTHERS LIKE HIM DOWN THE ROAD IN MANY POLITICAL OFFICES.

THIS IS TOTAL PROOF…..REAL U.S. CITIZENS, I HIGHLY ENCOURAGE YOU TO GET REGISTERED TO VOTE AND GET OUT AND VOTE WHEN THE TIME COMES.
AND NOT JUST FOR THE A NEW PRESIDENT BUT FOR ALL THE OTHER ELECTIONS. THE LOCAL ELECTIONS REALLY NEED YOUR VOTE TOO.

DEMON CRATES!

I need to bullet out my response to this post. My God.

• “DEMON CRATES!”
• “IT’S THAT HARD FOR ME TO BELIEVE OBAMA GOT ELECTED. HE’S A BLACK!”
• “HE WAS BRIDING OUR VOTES! HE MARRIED THEM AND PUT HIS PECKER ON THEM! WE GOTTA STOP HIM!”
• “DEMON CRATES!“
• “WE HAVE A BUNCH OF ILLEGALS VOTIN’ IN OUR ELECTIONS, ESPECIALLY OUR LOCAL ELECTIONS IN ALABAMA WHERE THEY KEEP ELECTING A BUNCH OF ANTI-IMMIGRANT ASSHOLES WHO PASS LAWS THAT LEAD TO PERSECUTING IMMIGRANTS! BUT WE NEED YOUR VOTE TO STOP THEM FROM VOTING!”

And yet, because this person is a champion, Nationalchampsagain was not finished.

SOMEONE SHOULD CHECK OBAMA’S OFF SHORE BANK ACCOUNTS BEING LOADED WITH MONEY FROM OTHER COUNTRY’S LEADERS AND HISPANIC DRUG LORDS. THEY ARE PROBABLY HIS COCAINE SNORTING BUDDYS FROM YEARS BACK. BUT I BET HE DIDN’T INHALE EITHER, LOL.

BTW. EVERYONE SHOULD READ HIS BOOK.

“HE’S KILLIN’ OUR COUNTRY ‘CAUSE HE’S ON THE TAKE FROM THE DRUGLORDS BECAUSE THEY INHALED COCAINE TOGETHER LIKE MARIJUANA BUT Y’ALL SHOULD REALLY READ HIS BOOK HES GOT A WAY WITH THE PROSE I TELL YOU WHAT!”

If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to be laughing for the next twenty minutes, at least.

I can’t believe that Alabamians would be against poor whites and blacks voting.

Last week, The Huntsville Times did a story on how an out-of-state nonprofit has called out Alabama for not enforcing a federal law that gives people receiving government assistance voting registration forms to make it easier for them to vote.

In al.COMMENTARY terms, this is one Alabama or Auburn tie-in away from being “the perfect storm.”

This is the Huntsvillian Sedacra responding to another al.commenter, and emphasis added.

“Have you been to the hood?”

Yes, there are multiple free housing areas here in huntsville (turning into ghetto’ham)

“Whomever is doing all the stealing is driving a better car than me, I would bet you all the tea in China. ”

I also see those same cars in the hood, funny huh?

“Folks that have little resource to defend themselves. ”

I see dozens and dozens of those public housing people selling drugs and out committing robberies, so a solid portion do have resources.

“I just assign the concern I have with the size of the issue.”

While I tend to look locally since that is easier to change and later work towards globally.

How dare poor people have places to live in your poor Huntsville and make it more like Birmingham! Or as you so sensitively called it, “Ghetto’ham.”

How dare they so stain your bland collection of malls, chain restaurants and rocket shit populated by arrogant white people who think they are better than everybody else because they are 1) not originally from this state or 2) Alabamians who get to live in the place where there is a bland collection of malls, chain restaurants and rocket shit! How dare they somehow, by motherf—ing existing, make Hunstville seem like a real f—ing place that isn’t so hopelessly full of shit.

Also: “I SEE HORDES OF PEOPLE COMMITTING CRIMES EVERY DAY BUT I DON’T SEEM TO TELL ANY AUTHORITIES BECAUSE I’M A ASSHOLE!”

Oh, but it gets worse.

Lightning round!

johnny15

They are doing to us like Florida, The democrats want to steal the election in November by allowing illegal aliens to vote in the Presidential election under the United States constitution Amendment 15 you have to be a citizen to vote in our elections.

usafmsgt

the fed should take the state over and straighten things out. Oh good. Reconstruction again. Just what the south needs.

bogeydog

You could have every vote automatically default to vote democrat and require voters to opt-out by actually showing up at the polls to vote for any other candidate and these pathetic litigation whores still wouldn’t be happy.

Getting close…

secsports5664

I agree….they should get that honest, upright, group to help……what was their name? O, yea….ACORN…..and maybe they could also get the help from some of the members of that group that stood outside polling places in Nov. ’08…….great civil servants….what was their name? O, yea….the Black Panthers……of course they want those on public asssitance to register to vote…..why, because do you think they would vote out the hand that feeds them!

Getting closer…

nedbutler2001

So some other state wants to tell the state of Alabama what to do, clean up your own act first. Liberal dumbocrats registering the dead to vote 10 times, typical.

Almost there…

t123eagle

Instead of encouraging people on government assistance to vote, I think the law should be changed to disallow anyone on government assistance from voting. Why should we let people who have failed at life vote? All they will do is vote for whoever gives them other people’s money. This is destroying our country.

getrealnow

What this country needs is a Constitutional Amendment that prevents anyone on welfare from voting.

Boom goes the dynamite!

“HOW DARE WE LET PEOPLE WHO HAVE FAILED AT LIFE BY HAVIN’ A HARD TIME IN LIFE VOTE! THEY AIN’T REAL PEOPLE! HELL, WHY DON’T WE JUST MAKE IT A LAW WHERE WE CAN BUY AND SELL THESE PEOPLE AND HAVE THEM DO MANUAL LABOR FOR US! THAT SOUNDS LIKE A REAL GOOD WAY OF DOIN’ THINGS, i TELL U WHAT!”

Oh, but it gets worse.

Starting with an innocent question from Creole C. to another person advocating for de-citizenifying poor people.

Would that include SS and military? Government employees? Folks who drive on public roads? Watch PBS? Watch the NAtonal Weather Service Reports. No one could vote.

usafmsgt

SS and military retirement are not ‘government assistance’.

“I THINK REAL PEOPLE WHO AREN’T BLACKS OR POOR ARE ON SOCIAL SECURITY AND MILITARY RETIREMENT SO EVEN THOUGH THAT MOENY WHAT COME FROM THE GOVERNMENT THAT’S OK CAUSE IT AIN’T GOVERNMENT ASSISTANCE!”

Oh, but it gets worse.

DonaldDunlap

Hey guys and gals, the dems are scared to death that they will get their butts handed to them in November and they are, with the help of Obama, trying to get every illegal on the voting rolls and to insure the grave yards vote.

Yes, the Democrats (“Demon Crates”?) are scared of losing those Alabama electoral votes despite those having gone to [INSERT REPUBLICAN HERE] years ago, so they are trying to get illegal immigrants to vote because of course they live in public housing.

Also, the Demon Crates are trying to take out an insurance policy on some graveyards to vote or something.

Those f—ers.

Oh, but it gets worse.

buiick

Just some food for thought: While I do believe that everyone should have a right to vote, I also believe that everyone SHOULD also take the time to become EDUCATED about the issues. I have no problems with the law needing to be followed aka allowing people to become registered at these places, however I do NOT think that a VOTER can possibly be EDUCATED ENOUGH to vote if they dont know where to register in the first place.
P.S.
To all of you that keep hating on the south and Alabama you don’t have to live here so why are you worried so much about what we do here…

“IF YOU ARE EVER HANDED A FORM AS A MOTHERF—ING COURTESY AND YOU ACCEPT IT THEN YOU SHOULD NEVER BE ALLOWED TO USE THAT SERVICE THE FORM COULD PROVIDE BECAUSE THAT WHAT MEANS YOU AIN’T EARNED IT. I HAVEN’T HAD CABLE FOR YEARS BECAUSE THEY MAILED ME SOMETHING OFFERING ME A FREE TRIAL AND SHIT IF I’M GOING TO MAKE THEM LET ME BE A WELFARE SLAVE! I GOT RIGHTS!

“AND F— VOTER REGISTRATION DRIVES!”

Oh, but it gets worse.

And I swear to God, I didn’t make this one up.

1paratrooper

If the law is to be fair, why doesn’t it require states to hand out voter registration cards at public golf courses where they are a majority white middle class people.

“WE GOT TO REACH OUT TO THE UNDERREPRESENTED WHITE GOLFER VOTE! IT’S THE ONLY WAY TO SAVE DEMOCRACY FROM THE DEMON CRATES!”

I saved a gem for the racism post below.

Oh yes, it gets worse.

Auburn shooting redux is as unfortunate as you think it would be.

Last week I posted up the awful stuff that the al.com admins had left behind in what seemed to be a round-the-clock purge of dumb Alabama and Auburn fans who were attempting to use the tragic killing of two former Auburn football players as an opportunity to, as Oscar Wilde put it, be myopic, humanity-less dickwads.

This week, the admins didn’t seem to pay as much attention and the comments got pretty rough. Here’s the worst I found that I’m willing to share, and let’s leave it at that.

Tidepriden09

If it had happened in Tuscaloosa you would have had 50 posts on the Bama article by now, none of which would have been good comments.

Next up is AUwhereblackqbscanplay, and won’t you know he has deep and thoughtful commentary. I cut some of the stupid out to save space.

Ok I am going to catch crap for this one but this is not a sports story then how was a tornado a sports story? I will tell you why it happened in Tuscaloosa this happened in Auburn that’s the difference.

Yes, how dare the media for covering those tornadoes that gutted half the state more because it was in Tuscaloosa, not Auburn.

And now this exchange.

MakeNoMistake

Here in the United States of America, a suspect—even one charged with three counts of capital murder—is innocent until proven guilty. The rush-to-judgment mentality exhibited on these message boards is disturbing.

ahsaaref

Unless your name is Cam

YEAAH!

In short, siiiiiiiiigh.

Viceroy Hurrrrr of the Week

Each al.COMMENTARY post, we award the title of Viceroy Hurrrrrr. Designated by Emperor Hurrrrrrlong of the Hurrrrrrlong Empire to lead the Hurrrrrr colony at al.com, the honor of Viceroy Hurrrrrr goes to the poster who makes that completely unnecessary joke for the sake of satisfying the emotion that tells them “HURRRRRRR! LOOK AT ME! I MADE FUNS OF YOU! HURRRR!”

This week’s honors go to Kislath, on the story about the hunt for the Auburn shooter.

Check Harvey Updyke’s house.

HURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

And one last Auburn shooting aside.

Montgomery police made a whoopsie and searched/damaged/tore the hell up a a house where the alleged shooter was thought to be hiding, but it was the wrong house. They also spotted something on a thermal imager in the attic of the structure, which led to a lot of theories of the al.commentariat.

Frank‘s was amazing. Emphasis added.

The police may have a bit of egg on their faces but they shouldn’t feel too bad. I have no doubt that the thermal device did pick up a human figure in the attic. However, after watching the crews of shows like Ghost Hunters pick up the same thing in some buildings, what the police might have caught was a spirit. They cannot say that because they would be laughed out of Auburn. The best thing they can say was that they were wrong about the suspect being in the attic and leave it at that!!

Stop f—ing with the turtles.

Generally, the most embarrassing and pitched al.commenters are from the more deranged segments of the far right. That is probably because they are loud, often hysterical and, because they don’t like change, extraordinarily uninformed and extraordinarily hard to talk to about anything with in a rational way. They are truly the beating heart of the Alabama spirit these days.

But every so often, you get those left-winged al.commenter who can go to toe-to-toe with the right-wingers in pure batshit stupidity.

A story on a federal regulation receiving resistance from shrimpers brought out this species of al.commenter.

whatsright

dont be stupid if not for law to protect life in the sea these greedy fishing industries would do anything to make a profit and wouldnt care what species they rid from the earth i think we need ot rid ingorant idiots with no education or common sense for mthe earth

“all these people that commit the genocide our terrible so you know how we should fix it is genocide.”

He wasn’t alone. knight2225

Boo freakin hoo if you can’t fish. Find another job. Quit screwing the environment over.

“F— you and your livelihood, person! I CARE ABOUT THINGS!”

But whatsright wasn’t finished.

The Turtles were here first if you cant make a living and work together with nature you need to change the way you make a living. My question to you is how many turtle have you killed in the past before this law was in affect? That is probably why their endangered

“mr lawyer did you run over that turtle’s mother when you went to go turn in that deposition. did you take photos? did you sexually violate it? did you send those photos to that turtle to make him feel the pain? TELL ME YOU SICK SON OF A BITCH! YOU’RE CAREER IS GENOCIDE SO WE SHOULD GENOCIDE YOU TO DEATH!”

Bravo people, bravo.

‘Threat, or Come-On?’ of the Week

On the shrimp-n-turtles story, DonaldDunlap to a vegetarian. Emphasis added to be a dick.

Kislath….Why didn’t you include every meat for consumption industry in America. Humans have eaten meat from the very beginning and our bodies require the benefits of meat. The real test for you would be if you are ever put in a situation where your life depends on your body having the stamina to survive for a extended period of time. You will not survive the situation.

Yeah, it’s about to get real unsurvivable up in here, if you know what I mean…

This week in al.commenter racism and calls for people to be killed because it would make sick al.commenters happy.

So about that story about people on government assistance voting?

ray2008‘s post on that story may be the most reflective of what most al.com thread reading experiences are like: A slow-building racist undercurrent that turns into a lighting strike of super-racism in one big jolt.

Well. I didn’t know that the motor voter act instructed govt aid offices to have voter registration information available there. I think DHR has more than enough to handle than registering voters. All citizens can go to the court house and register just like everyone else. Now having said that if it is the law then they should have it available. I would highly doubt that there is some conspiracy in Alabama to deprive citizens of their right to vote especially at DHR. The last time I was in a DHR office in Alabama a few months ago, the majority of the workers were minorities so it would be doubtful that they want to or intend to deny voting rights to their clients.

Jesus.

Meanwhile, pishier thinks pishier is clever.

Omar and I were out riding through Hooveria yesterday. We saw several Hooveria Policia cars that had a van stopped. It appeared that the cops were checking papers of a bunch of Chihuahuas.

Before we get into some really hardcore racism, let’s go back to one of the Auburn shooting stories for some random misogyny from Mr. Rowdy 20.

And no, there is no context in which this makes any sense, though I think there was a female commenter who said something they didn’t like.

So women are confused, hmmmm. Guess all that “Cosmo” education ol’ Gloria Stienem sold ya wasn’t so great after all. So yea, go bake us some cookies. If we’d wanted a woman to argue with we’d have stayed married !!!!

Maybe you’re not married because you’re an asshole?

Though, to be fair, so is TnT4both – THERE MAY BE HOPE YET !!

Y’all try to overlook getreal! She’s prolly having whoremoan issues this morning!
Sorry for the loss to the AU family! Our thoughts are with AU, the community and the families.

Back to the racism. Guess what? The Auburn shooter, when he was arraigned in court, did not wear his pants high enough to some posters’ liking.

oldlawdog. Emphasis added, as if you needed it.

The style is called “jailing”. He is wearing a belly chain and cuffs, that limits his hand movement. The jail personnel took his belt, if he had one, so he woud not hang himself. They also took his shoe laces. So a young man with sagginh pants, no belt and no shoe strings is said to be jailing. A most popular fashion in certain communities.

To be fair, it wasn’t all just black people voting and being involved in Auburn killings that got the racism out this week. There was also Birmingham Mayor William Bell talking about bringing an NBA team to the Magic City led to some of the most racist things I have read in quite some time.

rolltide4me

B’ham isn’t going to change for the better. It is what it is. Run down and becoming one of the nation’s largest ghettos. Why??? Look at who’s running the place. A bunch of uneducated thugs!! Why do you think places like Mobile, Huntsville and Tuscaloosa are moving forward. Hell, even a smaller market like Opelika/auburn is moving forward. B’ham is a looser and will continue to be as long as you have thugs in charge.

By “thug,” of course, he means “black person.”

Oh, but it gets worse.

truthbringin is also stereotype bringin’.

Does season tickets come with each govment housing unit?

Showing that I’m not in touch with real racist America, it took me five posts before realizing that “EBT card” is now slang for racist for “characteristic of poor black people.”

So the bad news is that I may have missed some really racist posts.

The good news is that I may have missed some really racist posts.

Unfortunately, this post is where I started figuring things out. And it’s bad.

It comes from that tower of intelligent thought, doodooham.

Birmingham only supports two pro teams the SCLC and the NAACP. They are the only pro game in town. They could get 500 t0 1000 people together any given day to march down to a sporting event to play race games, plenty of national tv but sadly no corporate sponsorship or revenue. Can you buy tickets with an EBT card? I know most ghetto vendors are willing to ring up cheap wine as milk so that the people can get their Obama party on. Maybe Bell has a plan for accepting EBT or WIC at ticket booths. He is a financial genius and has a garnishment on his paycheck to prove it. Only in a city like Birmingham or DC can a criminal run for office and get elected. The voters deserve Bell or AKA LaLa lite.

OK, maybe it doesn’t get worse after that, but it certainly doesn’t get better.

Because doodooham kept posting.

Welfare state, sad, uneducated, ignorant. Hope moved to other states and cities in the mid nineties if you check the census.

He means white people. If you didn’t catch his drift.

And yet he keeps posting.

One would think that the census info would be a part of planning. Oh yeah, they are building on the Jay-Z and Kanye took a dump here one time planning committee.

Sigh. I mean, how does one respond to that?

Unfortunately if you’re an al.commenter, with more classism and racism.

MarshallTuckerBand. Emphasis added.

Racist vs Realist…get a clue sport. When checks stop each month then Bham will not be a great place to be. Sorry to interrupt. Love the comment about get the parents involved of their children!!! If you can find the sperm donor for the welfare check then fine and good luck with that process. After 50 years of the LBJ society it is what it is. Just keep moving every 15 years as has been the case for the past 30 years and yo might stay ahead of the mess. One Chelsea will apply for a NBA team.

TherealJody

The thugs on the street are cut from the same fabric that sits on the council. @ Donald….You say we complain, but we’re only stating the facts. Birmingham is full of crime and thuggish behavior. If you want to change the city, then lets enforce the curfew, no sagging pants, close some of these violent clubs and increase the biking patrols. When people feel scared, they have a tendency to stay at home or go elsewhere. Lost customers equal lost revenue. If you want to march on something I say lets march on city hall. It’s time for change. I hope the next elected official is not from Birmingham (just buys a foreclosure) and calls it his residency.

“SOME ELECTION FRAUD WOULD REALLY HELP US OUT IF IT WAS DONE BY A WHITE PERSON!”

On the topic of elections, back to that story about officials’ reactions to the Obama immigration thing.

alltoknow

“YEAH, THAT WAS WHEN THEY LET THE BLACKS IN. BACK IN THE 50S WHEN THEY WERE FOR SEGREGATION THEY STOOD FOR THE RIGHT TIHNGS!”

And finally, back to that Auburn shooting, unfortunately.

And this.

patriot

You would think in the year 2012 , That you could read the news without having to wade through a week long front page hype about a common shooting in the Black community ! For God’s sake move on ! There are serious issues that need media coverage . I thought Football season was over ?!… Get a grip ! There Is LIFE outside of the FOOTBALL Stadium and the Black community …..

uab4life

@Patriot you are absolutely right if the victims hadn’t been affiliated with Auburn’s football program just another black/black murder story would have been died Sunday night. Just sayin……

“IT’S A BLACK LFIE SO ITS NOT WORTH CARIN’ ABOUT! HOW DARE YOU TELL ME ABOUT IT! I’M WHITE!”

WatchTheNews

Dude, You think sorting out relations in the AA community is easy? Its not like you go to a home and interview the mother, father, and his two brothers. Then go talk with the maternal grandparents over at their house.

And now, in what I wish wasn’t now a weekly feature for this post, a call for a lynching.

And unfortunately this time, a response.

johnwayne

Why not put Toomer’s Oak to good use?

wenttoau3

sure would be a bigger deterrent than jail seems to be.

Thank you for joining this edition of al.COMMENTARY.

I am going to go take a shower.

And have a cry.

A good, long cry.

Reran Tragedy is Weld’s satirical blog about politics and life in Alabama and the South. You can like this blog on Facebook and follow it on Twitter @ReranTragedy. You can reach the blog’s author at calalabaster@gmail.com.

The artist known as Cal Alabaster Jr., if that is his or her real name, may or may not also be the author of the Alabama humor blog called “King Cockfight.” If true, you may read Cal’s work there at kingcockfight.wordpress.com.