Alabama Supreme Court Justice Tom “I’m Too Full of Jesus to Write These Law Words” Parker is proving that while it is difficult to get him to do the normal opinion writing that is expected of him, he can toss out incendiary views in special concurrences with the best of them.
The latest comes in an opinion handed down this week that refused a request by Hugh McInnish to force Alabama Secretary of State Beth Chapman to demand President Obama’s birth certificate prior to his being placed on presidential ballots in the state.
Parker agreed that the Alabama Supreme Court is not the legally appropriate forum for McInnish’s request, but of course, I wouldn’t be posting about this if that was all he said. The emphasis in bold in the block quote below is added by me:
Mclnnish has attached certain documentation to his mandamus petition, which, if presented to the appropriate forum as part of a proper evidentiary presentation, would raise serious questions about the authenticity of both the “short form” and the “long form” birth certificates of President Barack Hussein Obama that have been made public.
“HEY! HEY! You see? I called him Barack Hussein Obama because his middle name sounds like Saddam Hussein—you know, that dead guy we done killed in Iraq? His middle name is Hussein! That implies he might not be from here! Y’all get it? I’m one of the state’s top judges!”
That he would write a special concurrence tossing out some incendiary stuff is also not surprising. Parker made a quick splash of headlines earlier this year by trying to go back in time to the original Roe v. Wade ruling legalizing abortions in the United States and shouting “Nuh-uh.”
That he has gotten attention for putting law words on paper where law words happen to be printed is a bit of surprise: Parker has apparently done such a poor job actually writing his share of the state high court’s rulings that some of his Republican colleagues donated to his Democratic challenger during his successful 2010 re-election bid.
When asked about his slow pace during that cycle, Parker produced an all-time puzzler of an explanation, attacking his opponent for making out the paperwork-reliant judicial system as a place for producing paperwork and seemingly charging that judges writing lots of things down led to gay marriage being legalized by the Iowa Supreme Court.
The latter assertion is technically accurate, but probably more of a matter of procedure, rather than substance, Your Honor.
Reran Tragedy is Weld’s satirical blog about politics and life in Alabama and the South. You can like this blog on Facebook here. The artist known as Cal Alabaster Jr., if that is his or her real name, may or may not also be the author of the Alabama humor blog called “King Cockfight.” If true, you may read Cal’s work there at kingcockfight.wordpress.com. You can also follow Cal on Twitter @KingCockfight or email Cal at email@example.com.